New Year's Resolutions

1. Improve self, others.
2. Take out trash fortnightly.
3. Read instructions for all new consumer electronic purchases.
4. Purchase no new electronics.
5. Read Bible in its entirety. Create distinct voice for each new character, as they appear.
6. Act more independently.
7. Ask a friend to review list of resolutions before finalizing them.
8. Eat less figs.
9. Establish peace in the Middle East
10. Quit drinking bad gin.
11. Develop plan to delegate task of assembling next year’s list of resolutions.